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One day, I came across an ad that intrigued me.“Hi. I’m a brown eyed, red haired Aries who is unbelievably unfulfilled. I am involved with a guy who is very caring and loving, but who has no idea or imagination when it comes to sex. Help me escape. I am hoping that someone out there can email me with their fantasies to touch me in places that are not being reached. Erotic chat a possibility. To be honest, I’m looking for someone to talk dirty with.”It seemed harmless enough, maybe she and I could exchange fantasies and in turn, spice up our various relationships. I decided to answer “Red Hott” with what I considered a witty response.“Red Hott, I want to be the man for your fantasies. Let’s play doctor in our minds: tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.” I signed it with my new anonymous screen name: Hard Rider.A few days later, I received her reply: “A ‘Hard’ man is good to find. I will contact you soon on Instant Messenger.”The next time I signed on, I received the notice that “Red. It's really a shame, Julia since he was a nice guy -- I liked him -- gave him my virginity and I thought I was in love withhim -- until the bastard dumped me. What does one do about a guy likethat?" Janet. You're right, he needs a comeuppance! He needs to be taught alesson! Castration? No, absolutely not! Doing something as drastic asthat would be wrong, illegal and beyond the pale. Beside, it's beyondthat which is necessary to 'educate' him in the ways of polite society.And he does need a lesson to prevent him from hurting other women. Weowe it to womankind to redirect his energies and his social outlook. Now,he's called me and wants to see me. H'm, suppose we think of some waytoachieve those goals for him. Or to put it another way -- lets fix thebastard good!" OK Julia, lets put our heads together, outline a plan and a goal and ofcourse the final act -- whatever it may be for him."An afternoon's discussion elicited lots of laughs, some discarded ideasand eventually a plan.
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You’re my puppy. Besides, it sounds a little like Papi, which is what some of my girlfriends in high school used to call their older boyfriends. Just accept it, Puppy. I’m kinda fixed on it now.’ I sighed deeply and looked away. ‘Well, what am I supposed to call you?’ I asked. ‘Can’t I just call you Miranda?’ ‘You should call me ‘Dear’ or ‘Darling,” she stated. ‘It suits your whole ‘I act like an old man’ thing.’ ‘I act like an old man?’ ‘Puppy, I know sixty-five-year-old guys that are way younger than you,’ she smiled. ‘Which reminds me, there’s one more thing…’ As she broke our practiced embrace, she trotted out of the room, then returned a few seconds later with several large plastic bags in hand. ‘There’s always one more thing with you, isn’t there?’ I said, a statement of defeat more than a question. Ignoring me, she emptied some of the bags onto my/our bed. ‘They say a man’s sense of style can reflect well or poorly on his wife.’ ‘Who says that?’ I challenged. ‘An unspecified.

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